"Life is a choice - as is how you handle the pitfalls along its bumpy road."

Julie Donner Andersen,

from What My Widowed Husband Has Taught Me

Marcus set on the rail outside the inn with his arms cross and looking so solemn. She felt the weight of his stare yet she did not lift her gaze to him. “Woman are you insane? Do we need to make a trip to Sardar? " He stood up right and growled “it’s a mistake I tell you. Go to the plains… what do you know of that world?”

Lowly her words came in a softness she could give when she desired to do so. Marcus, my mother is their blood. I am part their blood. What would have me to do? Wait for Tristram to decide to come back? Or to go looking for Zo? I do know something, and I can learn the rest.”

“If you live to even arrive on the plains. Who is to say they won’t enslave you? Wont skin you and hang it up to dry over their fires? “
Her stormy eyes found him at once. “Stop that. You have little faith in me? In them? You judge them as if you know them. “

“Watch your tone with me woman!”

Her chin lifted higher as she stared to the silver haired man. “I need to follow this path. “

“Why? “ As his arms dropped to his side. “Because of a dream? “

“I need to know, if I don’t seek this I will never know. “ A shrug rose then settled. “She hid me in walls, though not with my siblings...why? I need to know. Am I crazy? Perhaps but I still need to know.”

He drew in a long breath then spoke even toned. “I will escort you to the plains. This I will do as my vow was to protect you. I will see you there. I will return to Rarir after that.”

She nodded. “Then I will first go see Emma. I need her to draw up the forms for the businesses, the ships. Anything else I need to give to her , to Alaura, and Tristram.”
“And to the brothers?”

“They have their own life. The women are my worry, though I know my sisters will live well.”

He grunted then looked to the sky “Best get sleep if we are to begin traveling in the morning woman.”

The small woman looked to him again then nodded before entering the door. Enough was said for now.

make me mind up

Its been nearly a hand since I spoke to the Tuchuk at the arena. His words did tug at my heart every night the sun set and allowed the tree moons to rise. Could I give up everything to go back where my blood is? Could I prove myself worthy? Am I strong enough to do this knowing I will see Alah as nothing but some slave to me?

There are questions I need to think on, to understand. I need to seek a vision in my dreams. I need to know that those who gave me life gave me the backbone and blood in my viens to be who I am. This I must do before I write Tristram with my decision, and set all my land to his and Emma's hands.

This is something I must decide alone with the winds.....

Oh, Great Spirit,

whose voice I hear in the winds

Whose breath gives life to the world, hear me

I come to you as one of your many children

I am small and weak

I need your strength and wisdom

May I walk in beauty

Make my eyes ever behold the red and purple sunset.

Make my hands respect the things you have made

And my ears sharp to your voice.

me wise so that

I may know the things you have taught your children.

The lessons you have written in every leaf and rock

Make me strong--------!

Not to be superior to my brothers,

but to fight my greatest enemy....myself

Make me ever ready to come to you with straight eyes,

So that when life fades as the fading sunset,

May my spirit come to you without

Home again. Yes finally after a time of travel following the fair games I am home. The clinic looked good, and my room was fine once I reached the house. I don't think I shall leave Rarir for a long time again. Its good to be home.

Liza

The Auction and gift

Well I will say last night was odd. Atropos helped me at the Rarir Men's Basket Auction last night and it was the biggest event next to the men's spars. I was shocked really but happy we did so well. Over 20 baskets were offered up and bid on all for chairty. Thank you to all who came and helped in rasing the coin for the children.

Many of the men where karian, an they brought in high coin which I was surprised again. Drac not only did a bsket but he made a huge donation also. It really touched my heart that he was kind.


Pertinax used Naz's basket and was won by SOME woman. Piffle is what I would say on that.




I won Alezander but gave my basket up to another. Then I won Thordis' basket. It was very lovely how he had things set up. I got an invites to visit his home, and a few others. I dont know if I will get to travel to any, but I will try.


I do plan on taking up more of a role in my caste again, if I can.


I decided to keep the dagger Pertinax gave me on me at all time. Never know any more who will hurt who. Lately things have been so weird. I swear the sister moons are off tilt.


I think I am happy for Drac, now I see Jez so ga ga over him. I said I think I am happy...


I know this ais a lazy bit I wrote, but I am trying to get the Rarir group ready to leave and head home. I am also very tired, so forgive me. I need to place my thoughts more to rence, but its the time. Anyway I will write more when I can.



Eliza



PS I had a nice gift sent to me and a note.

::The messenger from Captain D Black arrived to present to Eliza a gift, donation and note.::

Tal Lady Eliza,

Enclosed is a small donation of 2 silvers for your charity.
==small pouch held the coins==

My thanks for all your hard work.
Please accept this small token of gratitude.
==small gift box lined in pink velvet, contained a pretty kaiila and rider broach==

I wish you well,

D

What if I came to you in the darkness?

Would you look away? Would you dismiss?

What if I stood bate under the moons glow waiting for you?

Would you stay away?

Would you ?

What if it stormed so that nothing was the same?

Would you wait it out?

What if I told you my deepest darkest dreams or desires?

Would you understand?

What if....

What is I told you the truth?

What if I told you of my fears?

What if I told you I wanted you near?

What if...

Life stopped.And to my knees I dropped.

In wordless tearsI gave to you my all.

What then?

Would this dream end?

Who am I?

A myth, a dream.I am what only I seem.

A Woman by law of my land.

I seer,

a seeker,

a Woman.

My name.

Hmmm......

Either name I give you,

it means the same on the winds.

I know of the broken shards of colored glass,

the silver larl with in the woods,

the old woman whose moon insanity

sung her riddles in Darmoth.

I know of pathways

tunnels,

and gates where the dead hung.

Sing of the Muse,

along the Thassan blue...

I know she loved them both...

Did he love her?

Who am I?

I know the healer, Pryde of the Hawk

once held high by the Tuchuks.

The holy lands of the Mask

and how it feels to be with in tribe.

I am of the rich ones, Paravaci.

And yet I do not belong.

I am tormented with dreams

and visions....

I know of the Haruspex,Sand Spirit and her bosk.

I shall always remember the story

of the moss from my mother lips.

I carry the quiva of

black steel and bone.

I was given a gift of a silver larl pelt.

Why am I haunted?

Who am I?

I seen the ships from my said father's eyes.

I learned of battlesfrom his words.

I walk tall unlike him with honor.

I am of Karain blood?

No....

Yes.

Who am I?

I do not fear the path before me.

I fear the how my dreams make me feel,

for they come true often.

I am who I am.

Eliza or Sneh.

I am what I am.

A Woman

A seer.

I am your dream or

Nightmare come true.

Come, take my hand,if you dare.....

Eliza